Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
