she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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