Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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