Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
