If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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