They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
