im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
