So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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