ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
