I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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