I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
