and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
