he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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