Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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