Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
