he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
