watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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