Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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