Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
