Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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