Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
