I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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