you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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