Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
