I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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