Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
