His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I am midnight drunk by noon
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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