If i come over, it means nothing
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
