half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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