I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
