Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
