I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Betty ford says i'm here all night
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
