I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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