Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm both gender and math confused
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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