you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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