Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
