I have demons in me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
