Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
