if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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