Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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