I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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