the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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