I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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