I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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