If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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