My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
