It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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