Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize