Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize