foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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