is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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