I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Less talking, more tequila
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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