i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
