i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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