Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
