apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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