i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Your cock deserves a montage
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
