My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
