i permit you to call me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
