No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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