Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize