Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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