when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
