Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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